An open letter to my daughter, who was never conceived.

I often wonder about you. I always thought I would be your mummy and we would have the most beautiful bond.

My own mother said that having a daughter is such a blessing. From time to time, I feel sad that I will never experience that.

I wonder what you would look like. Would you have had dark hair and green eyes like me? Or would you have been blonde and blue like three of your brothers?

We would have had that feminine bond that I can only dream about. That female energy that I don’t have in my house.

There would have been dresses and bows galore, although maybe you would have been more of a shorts and tshirt kind of gal?

We would have had that understanding that only a mother and daughter can have. A look between us would be all it takes to know what each other is thinking.

Now I know that not all mothers and daughters get along with each other, but I just have a feeling that you and I would have been very close.

It is very strange that you never came along. I always pictured myself as the mother of a daughter. Just one daughter though.

You even have a name. Your name would have been Grace Katherine.

Instead we have been blessed with your four brothers. They are amazing children and we are very lucky to have them.

Perhaps we will meet in the next lifetime?

Until then, I will always wonder about you, my daughter who was never conceived.