I’ve been contemplating posting this photo but after what happened this week I decided that now is the time.
A few weeks ago I was getting ready for my littlest to get to swimming lessons. I still go in the pool with him so obviously I needed to chuck on a pair of swimmers.
I briefly caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I thought “hold on a second. I look pretty damn good!!” So I took a photo.
The old Katey would have seen massive thighs riddled with cellulite , round flabby arms and droopy gross boobs.
But what I saw was an emerging waistline, toned upper arms, strong calf muscles and a gigantic smile.
I owe my thanks to my new personal trainer Erin who plans amazing workouts and helps us through them. She supports and guides but never yells or barks instructions.
Thanks to her I’ve lost almost two dress sizes and gained muscle and a shit load of confidence.
Anyway, earlier this week I saw my dr for pain meds and she asked about my weight loss. I said it was going really well but I didn’t know my weight as my scales are broken.
So she had me jump on her scales.
I was only three kgs less than the last time I was there. According to my BMI I need to be at least ten kgs less than I am now. So during a discussion she offered me weight loss pills.
There and then my confidence was shattered. All my hard work didn’t matter.
I instantly felt like the fat miserable Katey of last year. Could she not see the difference in my body? Doesn’t she know that lean muscle weighs more than fat?
I came home and posted on the Facebook page of my mums gym group. I told them this story in the hopes they could help me to feel better.
Holy shit did they make me feel better. The amazing, beautiful, heartfelt words that poured freely from them literally brought me to tears.
I’ve never felt so humble and amazing all at once.
So this post is a follow up to my sad Facebook post to my gym buddies.
You suck. You don’t know what you’re measuring, be it fat or muscle or what. You can’t see the progress I’ve made. You are a dumb machine.
I’ve known you for a very long time and I’m a bit offended that you couldn’t see the changes I’ve made to help my health, in particular my back pain. I’m saddened that you offered me weight loss pills, knowing I suffer from anxiety (those pills would make my heart race even more). I’ll let this one slide but don’t do it again.
I am feeling so sexy and amazing right now. My body feels so much stronger than it did five months ago. I’m fitting into clothes I haven’t for a very long time. My jawline has returned!!
I can’t do any of this without the support of my tribe. In particular my new gym friends. They are so amazing and beautiful and inspiring. So so much love!!!!
I have realised that every body is different. What I see in the mirror is different to what others see. Some of the comments my gym pals write made me realise that I should be proud of my body. It’s the only one I have. And it’s amazing.
It’s grown life four times and brought those four little lives safely into the world. The time is now to get this body back on track, and in turn my mind.
Fuck I’m gorgeous!!!! (Tell this to yourself each and every day. Soon I hope you’ll start believing it!)