To new mums and mums to be….

I would like to impart some of the wisdom I have acquired over the past nine years of my parenting journey.

Your baby will not come with an instruction manual. You can read all the books in the book shop about birthing, peaceful parenting, discipline, sleeping, feeding, what to do when and how.

But the authors of those bloody books aren’t at your house at 2:57am when your little darling is screaming the place down and you don’t know why.

They aren’t going to be there when your nipples are cracked and bleeding and your baby is due for a feed, and the very last thing you want to do is put a suction cap on those poor nips and have it suck razor blades out of your boobs.

They aren’t going to be there when your bubba has been crying non-stop for a week, day and night, and encourage you to walk out of the nursery so you don’t smother your own child.

What you need to know is this: you are the best parent for your baby. You do what feels right, not what the books or other ‘experts’ tell you to do.

There are a myriad of parenting techniques. My advice is to pick and choose what works for you and your offspring. Because I can guarantee that your baby won’t have read the books!

My personal journey has consisted of the following:

-1 emergency Caesarian under general anaesthetic

-1 vacuum delivery

-2 vaginal deliveries

-6 epidurals

-4 attempts at breastfeeding

-4 bottle feed babies

-1 child who slept in our room for two months

-1 child who slept in our room for two weeks

-2 children who slept in our room for five months

-3 babies with silent reflux

-1 child with ADHD

-3 pregnancies with severe Pubic Symphysis Disfunction

-1 case of Post Natal Depression, lasting approx 6 years (first year was the worst).

-4 amazing sons

Every parent is different. Every child is different. Every pregnancy is different.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if things don’t work out like you had imagined. Before I had kids my plan went a little like this:

Two sons and one daughter. All vaginal births with epidurals and all breastfed.

Birth plans are a crock of shit.

People who preach ‘breast is best’ and make you feel like a dickhead for bottle feeding should be shot.

Birth trauma is real.

Seek out women who are likeminded, caring and giving you true support. I’ve found that once you have kids you tend to gravitate toward people who parent the same way you do. It’s quite frustrating trying to hang out with people who don’t share the same parenting values as you.

Keep an open mind and an open heart and just love the shit out of your miniature human.