Here comes another sleep deprived post.
My eyeballs are burning from lack of sleep. My muscles are aching from not enough rest. Yet I’m wondering why I can’t do it all?
As a young girl and teenager I reckon I did it all. I did well at school (apart from maths, but that doesn’t really count!). I did piano lessons, ballet lessons thrice a week, jazz dancing once a week, even contemporary and Irish dancing for a bit too! I played piano in the senior concert band and the stage band in high school (lets ignore the two years I played the trombone..) and choir practice.
I thrived on it.
I’m trying to do it all now and I’m exhausted!! Raise four boys, one with additional needs, work two days a week (plus the hours outside work hours!), maintain my social lifelines, keep a relatively clean home and dabble in a side business selling candles.
But really, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
When I was younger I did try to be everything to everyone. I learned the lesson that you can’t change people no matter how hard you try, and it was a tough lesson to take. Especially when it involves people close to you.
But now that I’m a mum, I feel like I need to learn the word ‘no’. Not in relation to my kids. I rock at that. (“Mum, can I have chocolate for breakfast?” “No.” “Mum, can I play the iPad all day?” “No,”)
I need to learn to say no so I can look after myself. It’s a tricky place for me to start though! I’m used to being a part of everything. I love it. I hate missing out. Serious FOMO!!
For right now, I’ll accept that it’s 8:43pm and I should be asleep. Maybe I’m a nanna before my time?!