Since becoming a parent eight years ago I’ve seen many different parenting styles. From one end of the spectrum to the other.
There’s no rule book on parenting. There’s no right or wrong. What works for you may not work for your friend, and that’s ok.
What I have noticed is that since becoming parents we tend to gravitate toward people who have similar parenting techniques.
I have friends who have strict rules with strict and swift punishment for breaking those rules.
I’ve seen calm and clear expectations and calm but firm follow through of consequences when rules have been broken.
I’ve witnessed parents not wanting to upset their child and they back down nearly every time a tantrum occurs. And these tantrums grow as the child grows.
There is also more free range parenting. No set rules, free flow, liquid routine.
Sometimes it can be difficult to watch and understand another parent’s way of handling a situation.
Sometimes I admire and watch in awe the way other friends parent their children.
As for my parenting style? I feel I am a parent who has firm boundaries and definite follow through on expectations and warnings. Sometimes the rules are a bit more lenient and my children recognise this and enjoy it.
I’ve found that if I do not follow through on my threats, such as consequences for certain behaviours, then the boys know for next time to push that little bit further. And that cannot happen.
I am the parent. I am in control (most of the time!). It is our responsibility to guide our children to prepare them for adulthood and the world beyond.
There are rules in life which must be obeyed. Manners and respect for other people are a must. All these lessons begin at home.
I’m sure there are people who judge or don’t agree with the way we parent our children. That’s not my problem. We are doing the best we can. And so far I think we are doing a good job.
Naturally there are areas to work on and it is a constant learning curve as they grow. Surrounding ourselves with likeminded people is a good place to start!