Last night I had a dream.
I was with my girlfriends and we were getting ready to go out. They had lovely dresses on, beautiful make up and hair perfectly styled at the salon.
I, meanwhile, was in a dress covered in stains, hair scraped back in a messy pony tail and struggling to put on my mascara. I was so tired and stressed I kept smudging it.
My friends were all calm and relaxed, happily chatting. I, meanwhile, was trying to figure out how I was going to get the school shoes I had accidentally put in my bag to my son who needed them for school.
I felt stressed, frazzled, unprepared, unorganised, inferior.
It took me a little while to wake from this dream. Maybe because it felt so real!
Right now we are in the thick of sleepless nights, small children who heavily depend on us and absolutely no time whatsoever for ourselves.
Perhaps my dream was my brain trying to tell me to settle down, relax and reasses.
I need to lower my standards temporarily when it comes to wanting the house a certain way and it’s not.
I need to step away when I’m feeling ropable, take a breath and return more calm.
I need to enjoy the times when I am socialising with my girlfriends and not feel guilty that I should be at home.
I know life is waaay too short to sweat the small stuff. I just need to get out of the moment and remember gratitude.
Four darling sons who bring me flowers, draw pictures for me, tell me “thank you so much mummy for buying my favourite yoghurt”.
A roof over our heads, jobs to pay for said roof and everything else we need. A man who loves me. Family and dear friends. The good kind!
Here’s hoping for a nicer dream tonight.