So here is where I find myself. Laying on the ground, looking up to the sky. Have you noticed that the sky is not just one shade of blue?
Anyway, I digress. Last night we attended a wedding in the Hunter Valley. And then drove the two hours it took to get home.
We got to bed just after 1am and darling baby had a rough night. 4am dummy. 5am wake for the day. I certainly didn’t want to ‘Mum’ today!
So I took the three big boys up to the school to ride their bikes and scooters. It’s a hot, muggy afternoon with a slight breeze, thankfully.
I lay down on the hard concrete and stared up into the sky. No screen I front of my face. No child whining at me. And suddenly I felt small.
The sky arched around the landscape and I pictured our blue and green planet just a tiny dot in the vastness that is our universe.
All my petty worries melted away. I began to think about my reason for being here and it brought me right back to these boys we created.
I feel my reason for being here is to continue life on earth. To teach my children the ways of the world and how to be decent human beings.
To show love, kindness, warmth and compassion to others and to learn to walk away from negativity.
To learn from my mistakes and keep growing as a woman. Strong, capable and with the capacity to help others.
To help our sons grow into men who are independent, resourceful, loving, kind and open.
Feeling small and humble is a nice feeling. It seems to remove some of the stresses that are minutiae of daily life.
I love my family. I love my friends. And I am beginning to love myself again.