I broke down. In a public place. It wasn’t silent crying behind a tissue. It was choking on the big fat obvious tears streaming (not just rolling!) down my cheeks.
It’s been a huge week. My brother is leaving for Canada in two days so I’ve been spending time with him and driving him around getting last minute things done. Add to that running a household of six, a doctor appointment for two kids, a trip to the X-ray place, an unsuccessful beach expedition (separate story on that coming up!!), swimming lessons, baking a christening cake, psychologist appointment and the rest.
Yesterday Mr 7 had his indoor soccer game at 5:51. Yes, that exact time. An amazing time for a baby who goes to bed around 6pm and two younger kids who lose their shit around that time of day!!
Hubby was working so I had to take them all. We sat down to watch the game while I fed the baby his dinner and the other two mucked around. The atmosphere is crazy at the indoor sports centre with multiple games going on.
Mr 3 kept going right up to the net and I was terrified he’d cop a ball to the face. Mr 5 was trying to reign him in, causing Mr 3 to retaliate. They continued misbehaving and I kept trying to wrangle them, still feeding the baby
Then they began cheering, a little too loudly thus annoying some of the other spectators. I tried so hard to keep it together but failed. The tears I tried to hold back began spouting from my eyeballs. I grabbed the boys and marched them out, waving off comments of “are you ok?”.
I sat them down in the car park and blubbered until the end of the game. I sent Mr 5 in to grab Mr 7, got them a sausage sandwich (dinner sorted!) and walked back to the car. The boys sat behind the car and ate while I stuck my head inside the car and cried some more.
I took them home, met hubby there, did the handover (still crying as Mr 5 hurt his thumb and Mr 3 was calling from the loo for his bum to be wiped!) and went out for dinner. Cried the whole way there!
But being with dear friends who listened, didn’t judge and made me laugh was the best medicine.
I learned that I can’t do it all. I can’t be everything to everyone and still have gas left in the tank. I should have asked for help with indoor soccer. I should have waited outside with the little kids. Should have, should have.
It was beneficial however, for the kids to see me cry. Hubby said they were perfect all evening and went to bed without a fuss!
Moral of the story??? Sometimes you have to say no, slow down and not try to be superwoman. You can’t do everything. Look after yourself.
Anyone else want to share their public meltdown stories?!