Now before I get started I will say that yes I am grateful for what I have. Yes I knew what we were getting into. Yes I know I’m not the only one. Yes I know that my life isn’t that bad. 
But I’m entitled to have a bit of a whinge. 
Lately I’ve been feeling like the proverbial hamster on the wheel. Everywhere I look there’s something that needs attention and its relentless. 
Crap all over the floor, plates that need to go to the kitchen, sheets that need changing, walls that need wiping, clothes that need putting away, clothes that need washing, boys that need feeding, toilets that absolutely stink, kitchen that needs attention. 
Not to mention making sure I cuddle and kiss my boys multiple times a day, play with them, have time for hubby/wife stuff, and time for me. 
Time for me is at the bottom of the list right now. I’m way too tired by the end of the day for things like going for a walk, reading a book or writing. 
Recently I started writing my ‘evening pages’ each night; a page of stream of consciousness thoughts. It really helps to empty my mind of thoughts, ideas and whatnot, which makes getting to sleep that little bit easier. 
However I have been so shattered by the end of the day lately I haven’t even been doing this. 
The combination of a baby not sleeping very well and a five year old who has trouble getting to sleep at night means that by the time the house is quiet I’m so tired I collapse into bed. 
I know that ‘this too shall pass’ and soon enough all four of them will be self sufficient and I’ll be looking for things to do to help. 
But right now my plate is well and truly full to the brim. I’m very lucky that I have a helpful, supportive, hot hubby!! But still, having four young kids, one of which has ADHD, keeps me so incredibly busy that I forget what it feels like to be bored. 
I sometimes feel the walls closing in so I find a quiet space, take a very deep breath, eat way too much chocolate and carry on.