A friend from mothers group was at a bbq. A normal suburban gathering with friends, chatting about this, that and everything.
She said that on not one, but two, occasions she had people say to her they it wasn’t fair that her hubby got up through the night to help her because he had to go to work the next day.
And it wasn’t said by people who don’t have children. It was said by a woman and a man, both of which have young kids.
Now this bothered me. Quite a lot. On two levels.
Firstly, it’s none of their business. How another couple decide to work things is not right or wrong (unless the safety of the child is a risk!).
What if the husband managed better on less sleep? What if the wife was so sleep deprived she was having mental health issues? What if the husband enjoyed the night bonding time?
There are so many variables that we have no idea about and nor should it matter. Its not our relationship. It’s not our business.
Secondly it’s the age old mentality of going to paid work is more important than staying home to raise babies.
Look at the incredibly strict laws and guidelines governing the Childcare industry. Why is it seen as less important when the actual parent of the baby is caring for it?
Just because one parent is getting paid to do their job and the other isn’t doesn’t make it more of a priority.
What if the parent caring for the child was so sleep deprived they caused a horrid accident and injured the baby?
If you’re lucky enough to stay at home to raise your children then you have the toughest job in the world.
It’s all day, all night, constantly on alert. Always putting yourself and your needs at the bottom of the priority list.
And rightly so (although not all the time, mumma needs a break too!!). Children are defenceless, dependent and need our guidance.
They need us to show them how to be good humans. Gratitude, humility, caring for others, eating correctly, manners, respect, patience, problem solving, independence, risk taking…..
I can see both sides to this story though. I’m going to completely backtrack on what I’ve just written as I often think that I should be the one to get up at night when hubby has to work the next day. It would not be good if he made mistakes in his line of work because he was tired.
But at the same time there are days I probably shouldn’t be driving because I’m so tired. So I’ll stay home to protect my children and the others on the road!
I’m lucky at this point as I’m not back at work yet. But when I do go back, we will take turns getting up at night.
Please keep your negative opinions to yourself regarding the way others parent their children.