While on the phone to my brother in France, he suggested I put together a list of things I say (yell) to the kids while having a phone conversation. 
Here’s just a few:

Get your toast out of my shoe.
Put the knife down.
Stop playing with the bananas. 
Put your pants on.
Give me the Lego man.
Don’t lick the car.
Get the pencil out of your brothers ear.
Give me the axe.
Stop poking the cockroach.
Put your penis away.
Chocolate isn’t a breakfast food.
Nice undies on your head.
If you want him to stop wrestling you, use the safe word!

Don’t step on the baby.
The dog doesn’t like being hosed.
If you’re going to throw a tantrum, do it in the other room. I’m on the phone. 
No you can’t eat marshmallows all day. 
Fire is not a toy. 
Neither is fly spray. 
Paint is for paper, not your brother’s face. 
Wipe your own butt. I’m on the phone!! 
No you can’t wear lipstick to school. Yes, perfume is ok. 
Please put some undies on. 
Feel free too add any more!!