This afternoon they broke me. The last four hours of my life have had the soundtrack of a screaming baby. A baby suffering from silent reflux. Add to that one three year old recovering from croup who has been whinging about every single thing. All afternoon. Plus a seven year old crying with major constipation . And a five year old with ADHD. (Who has actually been wonderful tonight)

Hubby did an afternoon shift at work so the pleasure of witching hour was all mine. All mine I tell you. And they broke me. 
I’m on the tail end of a stomach flu and feeling like crap. Not enough sleep. Not 100%. The baby woke at 2:30pm for a feed and proceeded to stay awake for three and a half hours screaming. And screaming. And screaming. I stupidly decided to see what would happen if he didn’t have his lunchtime meds (he’s on Zantac three times a day and Losec twice a day. I’m trying to wean him off at least one dose of Zantac). And it backfired. Majorly. 
I had to put him down and walk away so I wouldn’t hurt him. I was so tired and so irrationally angry and infuriated that he wouldn’t stop crying. And Master Three had spent the whole school pick up routine crying because he wanted to run. But he wasn’t wearing running shoes….
But then Master Five was so incredibly sweet and perfectly well behaved and intuitive that I just cried. Of all four of my kids he is the one who senses when I need some TLC. And Master Seven was amazing in asking to hold the baby so I wouldn’t have to, and then he put himself to bed. 
So now the house is quiet. Four young men are fast asleep and I’m feeling utterly drained and stupidly guilty for my behaviour!!! I love my boys beyond words. They’re funny, clever and bloody cute!! But afternoons like this happen to the best of us and I’m certainly not alone in having times of wanting to sit on the floor and howl and scream and cry…